PPU Adventure #1

[SuperBassX84]

-=Bass wanders around Phyrexia aimlessly, trying to figure out how the hell he got here and how the hell he's going to get out. Balkasior lets out a low grunt, alerting Bass to the presence of nearby Phyrexians. Not wanting a battle just yet, Bass grabs Balkasior and ducks behind a nearby pile of...well, he's not sure what it is, but it's a pile of it...and waits for the group to go past=-

[piñata]

(OOC: I like how people are actually managing to make this funny... it reminds me of The Belgariad. )

*Piñata hears voices behind him, and then the distinctive sound of a portal opening and closing.*

Elfie: Hey, Candy-Bag, what are you doing here?
Piñata: Waiting for you to rescue me, apparently. I see you've found DA.
Elfie: Yeah. You haven't seen a disembodied arm go past by any chance, have you?
Piñata (handing him the arm): Here you go. Friend of yours?
Elfie: It's Oddveig's. He's bleeding pretty badly.
Piñata: We can't lose him, he hasn't fulfilled his part of the prophecy yet.
Elfie: He wasn't even in the prophecy, was he?
Piñata: Not in our half. Apparently the parchment was torn at the bottom, a fact none of us noticed until Stalin produced the other half. Which reminds me... allow me to introduce the Eternal Druid. Freyalise, this is Lord Edhelwë, also called Elfie, and his apprentice Dark Angel -- DA for short.
DA: Actually, it's Belgeroth.
Piñata: Huh. I didn't see that one coming.
Elfie: Well, this is fun and all, but we have to get back through the portal and reattach Oddveig's arm.
Piñata: Good luck with that. The portal closed behind you, and when the same thing happened to me I couldn't reopen it.
Elfie: Bummer.
Piñata: I have an idea, though. First I just need to clear something up with you, Elfie.
Elfie: Okay. What?
Piñata: You know Kyliki and I have a history, right?
Elfie: I gathered as much when you emerged from the woods together and you were zipping up your pants while she was wiping off her chin.
Piñata: I just wanted to make sure you were okay with the fact that although your connection with her will eventually be much stronger than mine, I'm the only person right now at this moment that can contact her at this distance.
Elfie: Get on with it, then.

*Piñata reaches out with the Force*

[Meanwhile, back in Ragbralbur...]

Kyliki: Piñata, is that you?
Piñata: I'm in your head... you didn't have to say that out loud.
Kyliki (thinking instead of speaking): Oh. Where are you?
Piñata: With Elfie and DA. We've retrieved Oddveig's arm, but we can't get back right now... we're stuck on this side of the closed portal.
Kyliki: Belgarath's doing something... he's already stopped the bleeding.
Piñata: Good. There are some other things I need you to do.
Kyliki: You name it, you've got it. Nothing kinky, though.
Piñata: I need you to cast a Lifeforce over Ragbralbur. If our betrayer is still there, I don't want him to be able to Drain Life anything. He'll have to fight honorably, if he's even capable of honor.
Kyliki: Done. Okay, what else?
Piñata: We need the droids to be incapacitated while we deal with this new development. Do you have any global anti-artifact spells?
Kyliki: No, but I'll ask Belgarath if he can do something.
Piñata: Good thoinking. He's one of the most powerful people left on that plane with you. Stick close to him in case anything happens.
Kyliki: I can take care of myself, you know.
Piñata: Actually, I'm counting on that. Our enemies probably thoink you're the weakest link in our group... use the advantage of surprise when it presents itself, since they don't know how powerful you truly are. I have to go now... something's coming.
Kyliki: I would tell you good luck, but that would suggest you can't deal with the situation on your own merit.
Piñata: Same to you, then.

[Back in Phyrexia...]

Piñata (speaking again): Belgarath's stopped the bleeding. Oddveig might be okay.
Elfie: That's a relief. He's a good man. Did you hear the footsteps?
Piñata: Yes. It sounds like we've got company. We're not exactly defenseless here, though.

*readies a Naturalize and draws his lightsaber*

Freyalise: I see he's just as Arendish as ever.

[Wildkarrde]

Seeing that several of the meatlings were already in Phyrexia, and hopefully a few more would be soon, the Wildkarrde stepped through a portal himself.

Upon arriving on Phyrexia, it already felt more at ease. The Wildkarrde was home. It scanned its surroundings for any of the meatlings, and saw several off in the distance, starting to be surrounded by Phyrexian dragons, and many smaller breeds of phyrexians, including the newest version of negators, the infamous planeswalker-hunters.

My servent

"Yes my lord?"

I see that several of the 'heroes' have arrived. Go to them, and explain what is to become of them. I will be watching and will make my presence known when I deem it time. Tell them of the glorious changes that they will soon be priviledged to.

"As you wish, my master."

At this, the Wildkarrde set off at an easy lope towards the group of surrounded meatlings. The Phyrexians ringing the group parted to let the more powerful demon through, none wanting to feel his or their master's wrath.

"Meatlings! You are likely wondering why you are here," he grated. "It is not for the destruction you likely predicted. You are here because you are being given a great opportunity. The opportunity to become more powerful than you ever could have imagined. My lord has sent me to offer his greetings, and give you his apologies for the method of your arrival. The fact of the matter is, we could not be sure you would come unless forced. You might not understand the glory of what was being offered to you, and seek to refuse it. As it is, you cannot leave this plane. The portals you came through are only one way, and if any of you seek to planeswalk you will be destroyed by a magical ban set in place by my master and lord.

Now, what he offers you is this: compleation. You will become as I am, Phyrexian. With your compleation you will gain incredible power. In return for this gift, you will serve my master in his plan of conquest of the multiverse. You will be more powerful than his negators, more powerful than any planeswalker, akin in power to the previous lord of Phyrexia, the Ineffable."

At this the heroes started mumbling amongst themselves. If Yawgmoth was no longer lord of Phyrexia, then who was? Who was this that was so powerful as to be able to keep them here?

((OOC: Ok, now here's what's up to you guys. I think you all know who the lord of Phyrexia is now, and you've heard what he's offering you. I figure you can either figt it out and escape before you are compleated, or get compleated, then turn against the Phyrexians, with your new power. I was interested to see who would take the second option, being compleated, then using that strength to fight against the phyrexians. Also, lets see if we can get a few more heroes in here. It won't take long for the Phyrexia battle, and then we can go back to the prophecy, witha few compleated, extra powerful heroes.))

[piñata]

*Piñata stared in shock at the abomination as the unmitigated gall of what it was saying sunk in.*

Piñata: That's awfully presumptuous. Are you people really that stuck on yourselves?

*An implant on one of the Phyrexians explodes as Piñata loses control of his anger and accidentally casts the Naturalize he had readied.*

Freyalise: Piñata, calm down. We can't defeat this many of them.
Piñata: I'd rather die than become one of them. For more than 1500 years I've served life and nature. What this... thing is suggesting nauseates me.

[Elfie]

Karrde: Let me sweeten the deal.

*Oddveig's arm disintegrates*

Karrde: Tell your scout to come here if he wants his arm repaired.
Elfie: How repaired are we talking about?
Karrde: Let's just say we'd fix a few other things while we were at it.

[SuperBassX84]

-=Bass hears an explosion a few piles over. He scoots around, keep Balkasior as hidden as possible, to see what happened. He realizes he is not alone, and that Karrde betrayed the entire group=-

Karrde: Let's just say we'll fix a few other things while we're at it...

-=Taking a moment to comprehend his predicament and what Karrde said, Bass realizes what he intends=-

Oh he's a fucking dead....whatever he is....now.

-=Bass remains hidden, not wanting to fight the massive Karrde and the huge numbers of Phyrexians until a good opportunity presents itself=-

[Belgarath]

(Ohhh...time to make this more interesting)

*The group stands dumbfounded after hearing the Wildkarrde's proposal, none of which wanting to openly confront the beasts on his home plane, where he obviously has the advantage.*

WK: I see you are all too overwhelmed by the generosity of my master's offer. But time is of the essence, and my master needs to know your decisions immediately.

Pinata: Tell your "master" he can burn in hell. I'd rather die before coming like you.

Elfie: Same.

*Freylaise nods in agreement*

DA: I accept your master's offer.

Elfie/pinata: WHAT?!

WK: *Laughs* At least one of you has the brains enough to know a gift when they see it.

DA: *Turning to face the group* Ever since I was a child I have dreamt of the power that our gracious host now offers. I'm sorry, you have all been such great friends to me, but this is what I must do.

pinata: You son of a bitch...You're going to betray us?

DA: I'm sorry.

*Before DA turns around to go see the Wildkarrde, he gives the group a subtle wink, which everyone in the group sees*

(Back in Ragulabar)

Belgarath: Hmmm...

Kyliki: What?

Belgarath: I think we're going to have to go to Phyrexia.

Kyliki: What makes you say that?

Belgarath: I don't know...But we're going to have to do it.

Oddveig: At least we can get my arm back.

Belgarath: I suppose.

Kyliki: Great. I've always wanted to go tour the wonderful valleys of Phyrexia.

Belgarath: Tell me about it. You want to create the portal, or shall I?

Kyliki: I think I'll let you have the honours.

Belgarath: Alright. *Closes his eyes, and stretches his hands out infront of him. After a few moments, a large shimmering portal appears infront of the group* Let's go.

*The three walk through the portal into Phyrexia. As they appear in the plane, they see the other group a short distance away from them. Belgarath also notices that DA is walking towards the Wildkarrde.*

Belgarath: What the...

*Just then, pinata notices the new arrivals, and waves them over.*

pinata: Fancy meeting you here.

Belgarath: I guess. What's Belgeroth doing?

pinata: We're not too sure...

Kyliki: Why are we here anyways?

pinata: He, *jabs his finger over at WK* wants to compleat us all.

Oddveig: What!? I'd rather die than have that happen to me.

Elfie: That's what we said. DA apparently is going along with it however.

Belgarath: I hope he knows what he is doing...

Elfie: Knowing DA, I wouldn't bet on that.

[Elfie]

Elfie (whispering): Out of curiosity, what would happen if I activated a giant magnet right about now?
Piñata (whispering): Do you have one.
Elfie (whispering): Not really...
Piñata (whispering): Then why are you asking me?
Elfie (whispering): Trust me on this. Would it work?

[piñata]

Piñata (whispering): You're the scientist. It sounds like it'd work to me, but really -- what the fork do I know?
Freyalise (whispering): Not a whole lot.
Piñata (whispering): Why did I ever remove my penis from your mouth?

[SuperBassX84]

-=Bass, still hidden in his spot, sees the events transpire before him...DA's "betrayal," the group's refusal, and the whispered exchange between Piñata, Freyalise, and Elfie=-

Dammit...if only more'd gone along with DA's plan...with only one wanting to be compleated, Morby isn't gonna be a happy boy. Dammit, I need a plan...I've protected the 'Clave too damn long to be corrupted now, but more people need to want to be complea...

-=At this moment, Bass notices the monstrous form of Balkasior next to him, snorting loudly=-

Bass: So you want to be compleated?
BKS: -=Snort=-
Bass: You want to betray me, your master and loving caretaker?
BKS: -=Grunt=-
Bass: You want to become compleated and then use it to beat the stuffing out of the Wild Karrde, don't you?
BKS: -=Looks at WK, emits a low growl=-
Bass: That's a good demon...here's a treat. -=Bass gives BKS a demon cookie=- Now we just have to figure out how I can convince him that you want to be compleated without making it look REALLY suspcious....

[Elfie]

Elfie: So how is this going to work? Do we just stand here and wait for you to return with a compleated DA?
Wildkarrde: Do what you want, meatling.
Piñata: I vote we kill him.
Elfie: Normally I'd second that motion, but this seems like a rather inopportune moment.
Bass: *jumping out from his hiding spot wielding his Bass Staff* I will second it though.
Balkasior: No. *knocks Bass over the head and into unconciousness*
Elfie: What's going on?
Wildkarrde: It appears another one of you has the wisdom to join us.
Balkasior: More...power... *Balkasior drags Bass over to Wildkarrde and tosses him at his feet*
Wildkarrde: Come with me meatling. Your days of weakness are over. *Wildkarrde kicks Bass once in the stomach* This personifaction of frailty isn't worth killing.
Piñata: Why I ought to -
Elfie: - leave him. It's his choice.
Piñata: What are you talking about?
Elfie: I'm talking about the smart choice here.
Kyliki: Listen to him Piñata. He knows what he's talking.
Piñata: He always knows what he's talking about though! Can't we just do something violent and brash for once?
Elfie: There will be plenty of time for that when Balkasior and DA get back.
Piñata: If they come back.
Kyliki: They'll be back.
Elfie: You can get up now Bass. They're gone.
Bass: Good. I was wondering how much longer you'd leave me lying in the dirt.

[SuperBassX84]

So Karrde is off with DA and BKS (Elfie - it's spelled B-a-l-k-a-s-i-o-r) and we're left here to be guarded by an army of Phyrexians. We can't do anything and they won't attack us.

So, who's up for Monopoly? I call the car!

-=Whips out Monopoly=-

[Elfie]

*grabs the thimble and the hat*

I call Indiana Thimble.

*sets the hat on top of the thimble*

[SuperBassX84]

Who else wants in?

-=Starts dealing out money=-

-=One of the Phyrexians comes over and asks to play=-

Oh...why not? The played soccer on Christmas during WWI, I'm sure we can do this here.

-=Deals him some money=-

[Belgarath]

Belgarath: I still don't get how a thimble can be a landlord...It just isn't right...

Kyliki: You think too much Belly.

Belgarath: Don't call me that.

Kyliki: Why not Belly?

Belgarath: Because I can turn you into a newt.

Kyliki: Yes, but you won't, right Belly?

Belgarath: *To pinata* Sigh...Women.

Phyrexian: *Weird mechanical noises*

Belgarath: Oh don't you start.