Puritan Journal

[SpasticChicken]

As the title says lol i'm doing this for english class i need 20 entires lol so yeah i only have two and it's due friday, i thought my first 2 were good soo0o0o since i'm very bored i'm a post em And if the rest are ohkay i'll probably post em too lol since noone else was posting in the board( i love having the first post!)And if anyone can give me some "constructive" criticism *Shudder* b4 thursday that would be great!

EDIT: we're reading the book The Crucible so some characters are kinda the same

Tuesday April 1, 1692

My name is Sandra Lindsey and in this day and age a name as well as a person’s linage is a very important thing. I’m sixteen years of age and I was born April fifth. My family is from England but we moved to the new world for more religious freedom. Our family doesn’t have much money but papa thought the new world would give us a better start to make our riches. We’ve travel long and far through Indian Territory and beyond to finally reach this, this place we shall now call home, Salem, Massachusetts. My papa use to be part of some prestigious aristocrat family but he married my mother and got disowned. My father gets this dazed look about him sometimes and I’m sure he regrets that decision he made. Father was the oldest and would have had everything, but he got a chamber maid pregnant and had to marry her. His father offered much money to the maid but she would have none. Father, feeling guilty for what he had done agreed to marry her and take care of their babe. His father in turn threw them out with no money and no place to go. My mama was a puritan miss and soon tried convert my papa. They relied on the kindness of villagers on my papa’s fathers land. Although the villagers took them in, they looked at the maid with pity and him with much disgust, yet they still offered the warmth of their homes and the promise of food on the table. When my papa and mama found out about the American colonies they jumped at the chance to go. Rumors of the fortune you could make there spread all over. My mama wanted out of England so she wouldn’t have to be catholic, and papa wanted riches. It worked out best for both of them. The village children made fun of me for my clothes and beliefs so it was a relief to leave that atrocious place. Having to leave the only place he has known was very hard for pap. He took up drank and mama would admonish him, It worked for a time but he still drinks. Mama knows naught and he seems to like it that way. Papa puts on a false smile for my mother and me, but we see through it to the pain. Mother blames it on herself. If only this, If only that. They think I’m such a child that I do not understand matters of the heart. They are wrong. I know much more than I let on. I find this life we live in very unjust. I am a girl and as such I am expected to do a certain things. What of the things I wish to do? Sometimes I wish I were a boy. Then I could go to more than just bible classes. I do not look unto these teachings as a passing folly but I had hoped for so much more than what I can find in the town meeting room. My family and I live on a strip of land papa calls a “farm” in disgust. Our animals are malnourished and our crops barely grow. Faming was just something papa wasn’t good at. The local farmers look at him and laugh yet papa holds his head up and walks away with pride. Often pap tells me how good I am. He once told me how he wouldn’t give me up for anything if he could do everything all over again. Papa always says god works in mysterious ways. Yet this same god had us starve or grow cold on more than one occasion. Is misunderstanding god’s intentions a sin? I hope not for I shall be condemned to hell before long.

[SpasticChicken]

Wednesday April 2, 1692

In this little shack we’ve called home trouble has arise. Mama is upset that our traps do not work and the crops have yet to grow. We bought an old cow name Mosey from this man passing through. Little did we know that is was all a scam. The man was out of town the next day so we didn’t have the chance to get out money back. The only money we really had. Papa was so upset that he went to town to pray. Mama worked quietly in her room stitching curtains for my room. As the night was ending mama got ready for bad and Papa came home some hours later with a man called Giles Corey. Mr. Corey was pleasant enough but a little odd. Papa laughed and joked, even mama came out to see what the commotion was about. I hadn’t see pap like that in years and I saw the grief lift off mama’s shoulder when she looked at him. I thought to myself that everything would be alright. I went to bed that night with a light heart. When I woke up it was all unrealistic. Papa told me how there was talk of witches in the village. Some girls were bewitched and they were out to find the culprits. I thought back to the following day and knew this had something to do with Abigail and her friends. Abigail invited me to call her “Abby” since all her friends did so. She also told me that they were going to the woods that night, she wouldn’t tell me why, and she would only tell me what time to be there. When darkness set in the sky I got ready to meet the girls but mama stopped me and begged me to help around the house before papa came home. I lost track of time and just decided not to go, I was sure the girls would understand. As the news about witches reached everyone, I told my papa about the girls going to the woods. He told me those girls were up to no good and no witches lived in this village. I believed him for papa would never lie to me. The girls were not in bible class today and all Goody Brown talked about was rejecting the devil. I thought I should go mad if I didn’t know what was going on. I looked all over for any sign of one or all of the girls. I walked over to the Putnam’s but there was no sign of Ruth. When I got there Goody Putnam’s wails could be heard. I was so scared that I lifted up my skirts and ran. I ran straight pass Elizabeth Proctor who waved and smiled at me. I stopped at reverend Paris house because I knew that’s where Abigail and Betty lived. A crowd had gathered and I saw Abigail in the middle of it. She wove tales of dancing and Tituba. I believed Abigail about the witches they were out there and if I wasn’t careful I’d be next. I think of it now and if it hadn’t been for my mom making me late I would be bewitched or worst…I could be one of the devil’s minion.

Papa hasn’t taken a drink since we’ve move here, we think this is a good sign!

[SpasticChicken]

Thursday April 3, 1692

When I first moved to Salem they came and welcomed me. It was a nice reception, one I was more than a little nervous about. I had heard many mean things about Abigail and I didn’t want to get on her bad side, but as she smiled down at me I knew that every mean thing said against her were all lies. We had all grown to be fast friends with Abigail of course being the center of it all. She often got upset and threw tantrums when we talked about stuff she knew nothing about. Mercy was Abigail’s right hand…woman you could say. She did whatever she was told and her life mission was to make Abigail comfortable. Mary followed the crowd but she had a conscience. I don’t like her much, she has not backbone what’s so ever, it’s always Abigail this, Abigail that. AT least Mercy is her own person when Abigail isn’t around, which isn’t often. Betty and Ruth were like me, just followed along for lack of anything better to do. IF it wasn’t for house work that needed to be done and prayers that needed to be said, I fear we would all die from boredom. That morning I went to reverend Paris house again and there was still a crowd outside. The talk was about witches and the devil. I needed someone to confide in and I knew the girls would be there for me. I wanted to know what was going on and if my papa was right, they could end such foolish talk. I snuck past the crowd who were sure to pray for me and ran up to see Betty and Abigail but they were not alone. Mary and Mercy were also there. They were all standing around the small room. Betty was lying on a cot looking deathly pale. Marry and Abigail were arguing and they didn’t notice me. I was glad of that . I could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation but it didn’t sound good. Mary wanted to tell Reverend Paris something but Abigail forbids her too. It was all very confusing and I wanted to know what was going on. I also heard enough and wanted to make my presents known; as I approached the door I heard foot steps behind me. I got scared and ran the other way. I don’t know how long I stayed in that pantry, it seemed like hours. Mercy and Abigail found me there some time later as I was dosing off to sleep. Abigail hurled ruthless and hurtful accusations at me and I begged her to stop. They blocked the only wait out of the pantry so I had to stay there and listen. After some time they backed away from me to let me out. I approached them with a weary look on my face. To my dismay they backed up fearfully away from me as if I had the plague. “Witch” they yelled “witch” I was so scared I had no clue what to do. I ran home, ran faster than I’d ever run before. When I got home I didn’t know what to do. With ever bump I jumped with ever creaking sound my nerves got worst. And cried thinking it will all be better tomorrow…yeah, tomorrow.

[SpasticChicken]

Friday April 11, 1692

This has become ridiculous. People are getting arrested for just breathing it seems. I couldn’t count the numbers of accused witches on my fingers for the number is too high. The arrest rate is getting higher by the hour. The marshal and his goons knock on the doors of unsuspected families and take people away. They actually take people away! I cannot express my outrage of these actions. All I hope I shall never experience something like that but I fear before long the whole town should be in jail. Some people just sit in jail for days on end. Not knowing what their faiths will be. People all over are being ruined by this, but this didn’t stop the court. They just let Abigail run the show saying what she will. She’s bringing the girls right along with her. Abigail and the girls have been busy at work. I envy them for their power yet I loath them for tearing apart families. They are paraded around the court like queens. Pointing fingers and fainting, ha, I could do all that if I wanted to. Oh Abigail how hard it most be to slip from a chair or point a nicely shaped finger at some poor innocent women. Witchcraft they claim. Well I never. Tituba was the first and her, I would gladly condemn. With her weird speech and odd features I’m sure she was in cahoots with the devil. Sarah Good on the other hand was a kind miss but I didn’t care much for her. Beggars aren’t worth my time. With ever day that passes the girls point out more and more “witches.” For the life of me I cannot see why witches would want to live in a simple puritan village like this one. Wouldn’t they stand out? Wouldn’t god send his death angles out to pierce their blackened souls? Who gave Abigail such power? I should have the power, not some spoiled girl who never lifts a finger. Sure she worked at the Proctors for a while, but goody Proctor saw her for what she was and threw her out. You would think a court full of god fearing people would have the same common sense. There has been talk around town that even the most spiritual and truly good person could be a witch. Look at Goody Nurse; she was a kind and loving person. Mama once told me how she delivered five babies in one night. From what I hear Rebecca is going to hang. Along with everyone else who won’t confessed. If they keep following the foot steps of such a person like Abigail they will all condemn themselves to hell? I will pray for them all, most of all I shall pray for Abigail. I believe in the forgiveness of sins just as much as anybody else but I no, no matter how many people this corrupted court condemns...god gets the final say. I shudder to think what will happen to those who have strayed from his teachings.

[SpasticChicken]

Saturday April 12, 1692

I thought nothing could make me despise Abigail any more than I already do, but once again she has proved me wrong. She has done the ultimate dirty deed. She now calls my mother a witch, my dear delicate mother. Of all people, my mother! My mother, my mother my mother! She was woman who would rather use another door, than step through a spider’s web. She believed that all of god’s creatures should be respected. In all my years I’ve never seen her go against that belief. If she would have such respect for such a tiny animal wouldn’t human life be even more valuable?! They came at night. Without warning, without sound they knocked at the door. They handed us a piece of paper and took her away. I felt like the sorrow in my heart would never go away. I screamed and I cried and stomped my feet like a little child, yet that marshal, if you could even call him that, never glanced my way. The marshal wretched my mama from my arms, without breaking a sweat, I started to cry and couldn’t stop. Tears burned my eyes and raged filled my heart. How would he feel if that his wife he was taking a way with shackles on her feet and chains on her arm. They treated her like an animal, an animal! Mama had tears running down her cheeks and tried to hide it. She never wanted me to see her in such a state. Papa just stood there with a dazed expression on his face. Why wasn’t he doing anything? He just stood there. Later, I realized he was in shock and I couldn’t fault him. Losing the one thing he gave up his life for most have been hard. Lying in my room I could hear the click of papa’s whiskey glass. It sickened me to see him all to such lengths to get mama’s pain stricken face out of his head. I couldn’t stop thinking about these trails. It was personal now...too personal. I thought about Rebecca nurse, the sweet old lady who would never harm anyone. I could I can just see her now, standing at the gallows reciting scriptures. She’d make any sinner see the error of their ways. I only hope my mother could be so brave. Giles Corey came over this evening. They stayed up and talked in low whispers, so low that I couldn’t make anything out. In the morning papa looked disheveled and unhappy. I’m sure I didn’t look much better. The memories of the following night came flowing back and it was almost unbearable. To relieve the plain, I went to my room to say my prayers. Hours latter I told papa I was going to see mama. He grabbed me and forbid me to go there. I’d never seen his so angry. His blue eyes looked almost black and his chest heaved with great sobs. It just wasn’t fair, mama was a good person, pap tried his best and I did everything I was told, yet our family still was falling apart. I want to make Abigail pay for what she’s doing to people, thinking like that made me no better than her. I shall repent and all will be well. Too bad Abigail cannot say the same.

[SpasticChicken]

Monday April 14, 1692

Papa and I stayed away from court because it hurt too much. Everyone else in town went there as some kind of sick ritual. For us, the memory of the night mama was taken, was still bitter. Mama has been in jail for two days. Not that long considering the stay Sarah Good and Rebecca Nurse had to endure. Still, she has been gone long enough to be missed. We’ve been going over to Giles Corey’s house for dinner, which was mighty Christian of them. Mr. Corey and papa have become good friends and all they do is stay up late and talk. I feel lonely having no one like that. I miss mama’s smile and the flowers she picked from our weed infested fields. The emptiness in our house is so apparent even from the outside. The curtains mama had been working on goes unfinished and the stove grows cold. I forgot it was my birthday yesterday, not that I really cared. If I was never born mama and papa wouldn’t be in this situation. Papa didn’t forget my birthday, he told me seventeen years ago it was the happiest day of his life. I don’t believe him. My gift from him was wrapped in tissue and all thought it was hastily done I knew it was a gift from his heart. I opened it and it was a lovely baby blue dress. The dress was shipped all the way from Boston. I was so pleased to have something new. Then I felt ashamed to be happy when mama was no where in sight. Later that say papa gave me another tissue wrapped package. This one was from mama, it was a blanket with my name on it. Papa told me she’d been making it since I was born. After smelling it for a while since it still smelled like mama. Papa promised me tomorrow we call go see mama and I just can’t wait. Papa also wants to go to court. The first time since this all started. Giles Corey said he would also come since he had things to present to the court. At court we would all meet up with Mr. Proctor who was going there to plead for his wife. Elizabeth Proctor had been arrested and Mr. Proctor was not a happy man. He wanted to get his wife out and bring her accusers to justice. Ever since Elizabeth’s been gone the proctor boys have been running around town like wild boys. Nobody noticed, since everyone was in the court room. Being at the court gave me a chance to see what was really happening. I wanted to be there to see what was going on and maybe even get a glimpse of my mother. I just feel a little uneasy about seeing Abigail again. I haven’t seen her since that night at reverend Paris’s house. Papa told me that Mr. Proctor somehow got Mary Warren to turn on Abigail. She even had documents with her name on it saying that Abigail was a fake. That’s a site I’d like to see, Abigail, getting what she deserved.

[SpasticChicken]

Tuesday April 15,1692

We walked down to the meeting hall that was now serving as the town court. The court room was where most people spent their times these days. Mr. Proctor and Mary Warren were waiting for us as we approached. I waved to Mary but she didn’t seem to notice me. She looked dazed and scared like she was about to face her maker. Mr. Proctor grabs her arm and we follow them in. The double doors of the building were open so we stepped right in. Everyone turns and look at us as we walk in. I felt like my skin was crawling, it was not a pleasant experience. By chance, my eyes caught Abigail’s she gave me a small smirked and flounced out of the court room followed by two girls. One of which I didn’t know. Beside me, Mary begins to get antsy, but Mr. Proctor calms her down by saying a few words. The judge was furious with out interruption and demands that we leave. We leave, only to be called back later on. This time no one is there except the judge and his high officials. Giles Corey and Mr. proctor take turns presenting their cases. Papa and I sit on some benches near the back. Mr. Corey starts to explain about a man who told him Mr. Putnam was killing people for land, I felt papa tense up beside me like he had something to hide. I knew he didn’t because if he did, he would have told me, wouldn’t he? The processing’s got boring so I wandered to the jail cells. I found mama in a three cot cell. When I went in to see her she was huddled in the dirty corner never moving an inch. When she saw me I saw her face brighten. Her face was dirty with dirt smudges and tear streaks. She got up from where she was sitting and held my hands. In that moment I figured out what being happy was. Having her there was all I needed. All I’d ever need. I looked around the tiny cell and noticed two pairs of eyes looking back at me. The other women were Tituba and Sarah Good. Sarah Good started hollering out of the small bar windows about the devil. Tituba follows her and calls out to be taken home. Feeling scared and confused I rush out of there leaving my mother standing there with silent tears running down her cheeks. When I got back to the court room papa was getting ready to leave. Mr. Proctor has been placed in prison for denouncing the court, and striking out against Abigail. Mr. Proctor’s suffering was in vain since Elizabeth was still arrested and he would soon join her. Giles Corey was also arrested for contempt. Papa feels like Mr. Corey in jail was his fault. He knew he should have stood up and shouted, he was the one who Mr. Putnam was killing people off for land. If only he spoke up in court, maybe then Giles wouldn’t be in jail. Then again, nothing else worked, maybe that wouldn’t have either.

[SpasticChicken]

June 1, 1692

Mama has been in jail for three months. Today I will be able to see her again. Those brief moments in April were just enough to whet my appetite for her company. She’s been sourly missed these months and the other people still in jail were no different. The time pasted by so slowly that it is like a blur. Children run through the streets with no where else to go. Cattle run just as wild and large farms go to ruin. I saw the Proctor children in town one day. I felt so bad that invited them over for some cookies. They didn’t want to leave and have been here ever since. Papa doesn’t mind much. He loves having something to do, and three little boys looking up to you do a lot for your ego. People barely inhabit this town now. Some have left to get away from this hysteria while others still rot in jail. All month long people have been signing confessions that I’m sure are all lies. People would rather live in shame than die. This past week We have been contacted by the court saying we should see her. The judge thinks being with her family would help her. Help her confuse no doubt. Papa won’t come. I’ve begged and pleaded with him but the agony in his eyes has made me stop. I would bring the proctor children with me but I wouldn’t want to over step my authority. I’ve brushed my hair and tied it in a bun; mama always liked it that way. My dress is pressed and ready to go. I wore the dress papa bought me for my birthday it would be the first time ever. I readied the house as if expecting company. I was nervous about seeing mother so I tried to stall. Papa finally barked at me to leave already. I felt more than a little hurt, but the closer I got to the jail the quicker my pace was. The more I wanted to see my mother. When I first arrived I was asked questions which had to be answered. The judge asked me to try to persuade my mother to confess. I knew I couldn’t do it. Mother would never lie just to save her own skin. It hurt knowing that all she has to do it tell a little lie and she could be back home. For mother, any lie was just plan wrong no matter what the cause. I went through a door where the cells were kept. I passed Elizabeth Proctor and waved. She was almost big with babe and looked very healthy. She looked unhappy so I told her how her boys were doing fine. She seemed relived about that and that made me feel better. I kept walking and soon found my other cell, it looked more like a cage than anything. Mama was sitting on her when she came into view. She looks up when she hears my footsteps. She looks a little uncertain and then realizes it’s me. After realizing who it was she looks very happy to see me. She stood up as I approached. I noticed that she’d lost plenty of weight and deep circles surrounded her eyes. A sad smile barely touched her lips and I just wanted to weep. She grabbed my hands and squeezed them. It seemed like she was trying to reassure herself rather than me. She was no longer in a cell with Sarah Good and Tituba. She now had her own cell, but was that good or bad? We sat there and talked for hours. Holding hands and just reminiscing. Never once did we mention papa because I knew it hurt, him not being there. I told her about Elizabeth proctors children and she told me I’d make a good mother one day. I just scoffed at her and we laughed. We laughed many times during those few hours. We forgot we were in a jail cell, we forgot that she might never come home. The only important thing was us, now. We fell asleep on that dirty floor, but it didn’t matter. When we woke we talked some more and I realized I never told her I loved her, but she knew. She always knew. She told me to go home for breakfast and all though I tried to stay I had to admit I was hungry. I got up with ever intention of coming back. Little did I know, when I walked out that jail I knew something would happen and it did. It was finally decided that Sandra Lindsey, along with Rebecca Nurse and John Procter would hang. They did hang, a couple hours later. As I predicted Rebecca prayed for everyone’s souls quoting Jesus when she said “they no not what they do.” Many people in the crowd had tears in their eyes. Papa actually came to the hanging. I told him how Cory Giles died. He cried a little but then stopped and laughed. It was a scary laugh one I didn’t understand, so I left him to my thoughts and went to find a grave site for my dear mother. At the hanging the whole town showed up or at least what was left of it. The people looked like they were very to riot and the animosity left the judge feeling nervous. Mama stood up there with tears rolling down her cheek staring at the crown of papa’s head. He wouldn’t look at her not even for a second. As the drum roll begins pap lifts his head up and ass the floor drops from mama’s feet their eyes connect and hold. I could hardly see or hear a thing past the tears and my screams. That was my life flashing before my eyes. That was the woman who gave me life, that was my mother. I stood there watching her body dangle from that rope and I knew nothing would ever be the same. I turned to papa for some kind of comfort but he had already dropped to his knees and let out a sound of such agony only an animal could make. He looked up at me with tears streaming down his face and a hint of a smile on his lips. He told me something I shall never forget. He told me “she’s in a better place now…she’s happier now than ever.” I believed him. Mama had prepared herself for this, I just wish I had also. Watching them take her body down made me want to scream in outrage! “take your filthy hands off my mother” “ you killed my mother” “you just killed some of the best people the world will ever know.” Instead of saying any of those, I just watched. I watched them take her down and lay her body down in a cart as if she was some kind of sack. I silently laughed at that. Mama probably wouldn’t care, she always said “what matter was located in the inside, not the out.”

[SpasticChicken]

August 3, 1692

It has been a few months since mama has passed on and the “witch hunt” as it is now being called has been over. I see now why this theocracy crumbled. Corruption, hate and revenged ran this place. It ran it to the ground. Many lives have been lost, but for what, Abigail’s petty revenge, and a land hungry man? Was it really worth it? Was it worth the lives of woman and children, mothers and daughters? It certainly wasn’t. John Proctor is dead and no one can bring him back. Giles Corey has died within his last words being “more weight.” Giles Corey’s family still owns their lands, which is what he would have wanted. The Salem court was fueled on by a stubborn judge and a pathetic attempt at revenge. The spiritual leaders involved were too pathetic to admit they were wrong. Too pathetic or too ashamed? Only god knows. A few days after the hanging of Goody Nurse, Mr. Proctor and my mother the town of Salem ran reverend Paris out of town. They finally realized he was no messenger of the lord; he just happened to message for himself. After the trials were over, Abigail was no where to be found. Neither were the other girls involved. Some people thought Abigail jumped a ship to Boston. I really doubt many people cared. She deserved whatever she got when she left Salem. I guess we should leave the final judgment to god. Elizabeth and the other survivors were let out of jail. They got a “sorry” but when you spend half a year of your life in a jail cell, sorry just isn’t enough. Most land was still abandoned since no one would buy a dead man’s land. It just isn’t fitting. The abandon children were now being adopted. And offered all they could. Elizabeth came to live with us for a while so she can take care of her kids while I helped her. She and papa spend an awful lot of time together. I’m starting to suspect something is going on. They won’t let on to it, because they fear how I will take the news. They know of my great love for my mother and don’t want anyone to take her place. As if they could! I wish them both all the happiness because they each deserve it. When I come of age I plan to move away from this place and make a life for myself. Maybe even go to college. I have big dreams for such a small girl my father tells me. Now a day I spend my time helping Elizabeth with the boys and helping her around the house so that the baby is born on time. This is the kind of work I don’t consider myself doing for the rest of my life. There is nothing with doing that but it’s just something I will not do. During this crucible my faith in god was shaken, but it never left me. I know through him all things are possible which is why I need to strike out on my own. This dreadful experience here in Salem has made me a stronger person and I can only pray that this kind of fiasco doesn’t happen again.