Post by SpasticChicken on Jul 22, 2005 0:11:12 GMT -5
I've never done any creative writing before and it looked fun, so im trying my hand at it, plus I was bored. The story isnt finished yet! Im putting it out there just cuz i wonder if people think i should quit while im a head or keep at it, lemme knows! Feel free to say ANYTHING you want, it will really help, plus i have thick skin >_<
Had it really come to this Amanda wondered as she laid there trying to figure out why she’d done what she did. After all these years, her time had finally come. The sound of running water assured her, that her time to die was definitely near. Her wrist burned like alcohol hitting an open wound, but this was one mess alcohol wasn’t going to clean up. Amanda was sixteen, moody and very lonely. So how did she end up lying in an ice cold bath-tub, bleeding from her wrist and waiting for the reaper to appear? Months before, she was a new student at Burnside High School. Like every town and every school before that, Amanda hated the place on site. A couple weeks into school Amanda realized she was madly in love with the sexy Italian wood shop teacher. His name was Gabriele De Luca. Amanda decided to take the class on a whim and it wasn’t until she really started to get to know Mr. De Luca that she knew it was fate that brought her to take that class. Mr. De Luca was a friendly guy and often flirted with the pretty popular girls. Everyone knew he was a renowned bachelor and all the little biddies around town did their best trying to “fix him up” with their relatives. Amanda kept her pent up passion for him a secret but some how she thought he knew. They kept their affair a secret, if the town knew, they would both be ruined. She loved him so much that she would have gladly risked it all for him, and she hated hiding it. She often dreamed of the day when he would look into her caramel brown eyes and say “baby, I’m tired of hiding. Let’s run away together."
Looking back now, Amanda called herself a fool. She never loved him; she loved who she thought he was. She loved what he made her feel; something beside pain and pity. When she was with him, she truly felt love. Who was she trying to kid? She loved that man with all her heart and soul. She loved him like there was no tomorrow and apparently, that was her first mistake. A few weeks ago the love she thought would never end did just that, suddenly and abruptly. Gabby as she called him, brought her a cellular phone, a counterpart to the one he already owned; only the two of them would have the number. After getting into a horrible argument with her best and only friend Brandy, she needed his comfort. She hated coming over to people’s houses unannounced so she called his phone, expecting him to pick up with a smile in his voice like he always did when she called. The last thing she expected is what she got; the voice of a sultry female gave her a warm greeting as if nothing was wrong. At the time Amanda thought it was so unreal, that nothing like that could have ever happened in a million years, but now, breathing her last breaths she knew it was no mistake. The man she built her hopes, dreams and future plans around was a fake. She should have known it was too good to be true, why else would a man who can get any female he wanted, want her? It must have been a cruel joke. It must have been. There really was no use thinking about it now, it was all in the past. She'd miss the six hour phone conversations, she'd miss the midnight rendezvous, and she’d even miss crashing on the couch after a long day. The last “sane” thought that entered her confused teenage mind was--whether or not she should have left Gabby a note.
Hours later the body of sixteen year old Amanda Whitman was found in her bedroom bathroom. She bled to death from her wrist, it was suicide the cops believed but nothing else was released. The town up in an uproar nothing like this, had ever happened before. The wake of Amanda Whitman seemed to be the town social of the decade. Everyone was there; even people they never expected would show up. The funeral parlor was a round, almost domed shaped white building. There was only one entrance and only one exit which often made the place a fire hazard. The grieving family of now two basked in the condolences of those around them. Although it was a tragic event, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. This wasn’t how it was suppose to be--or was it. The shadow of a slim girl dressed in all black darkened the door way. No one seemed too noticed. Her long black hair was stringy and looked like it needed to be washed. The girl herself looked as if she would have rather been anywhere but there. No one seemed to notice her and that was just how she liked it. She moved closer towards the center, closer to the crowd. She noticed Amanda's parents cuddled in a corner. God, how she hated them. The idea of slitting their throats brought great pleasure to her face, but she wouldn’t do that to Amanda, she wouldn’t murder her best friend’s parents. Mrs. Whitman made the mistake of turning her head at the same instant Brandy made it fully inside the circular room. She flew up from her chair in a rage. She walked towards Brandy heedless of her husband’s pleas. "You!!! You little witch! You're the reason my baby is dead; you're voodoo, witch craft, mambo jumbo. You killed my baby! You’ll pay for this!!" By the time the screaming woman was subdued, the damage was already done. Brandy hadn't wished to make a scene, she didn’t even want to be there, but she knew there had to be at least one person who loved Amanda truly grieving. The bone chilling laughter that erupted from Brandy stopped the tears on Mrs. Whitman’s face in their tracks. "You don’t know anything you tart! You don’t know anything! Don't you dare blame me for something that was right in front of your eyes!! You want to blame someone?!" Brandy throws the cherished picture of her best friend at the woman standing in front of her. Amanda had the biggest smile you ever could see plastered on her face and with his arms wrapped around her, Gabriele De Luca looked like a man without a care in the world "Blame him!"
I cant WAIT to finish this but...im kinda at a loss. The story was based on real life events(expect the whole her killing herself bit)its gonna be a crappy ending since Amanda died. I regret killing her off now..pfft, i guess ill see what happens
Had it really come to this Amanda wondered as she laid there trying to figure out why she’d done what she did. After all these years, her time had finally come. The sound of running water assured her, that her time to die was definitely near. Her wrist burned like alcohol hitting an open wound, but this was one mess alcohol wasn’t going to clean up. Amanda was sixteen, moody and very lonely. So how did she end up lying in an ice cold bath-tub, bleeding from her wrist and waiting for the reaper to appear? Months before, she was a new student at Burnside High School. Like every town and every school before that, Amanda hated the place on site. A couple weeks into school Amanda realized she was madly in love with the sexy Italian wood shop teacher. His name was Gabriele De Luca. Amanda decided to take the class on a whim and it wasn’t until she really started to get to know Mr. De Luca that she knew it was fate that brought her to take that class. Mr. De Luca was a friendly guy and often flirted with the pretty popular girls. Everyone knew he was a renowned bachelor and all the little biddies around town did their best trying to “fix him up” with their relatives. Amanda kept her pent up passion for him a secret but some how she thought he knew. They kept their affair a secret, if the town knew, they would both be ruined. She loved him so much that she would have gladly risked it all for him, and she hated hiding it. She often dreamed of the day when he would look into her caramel brown eyes and say “baby, I’m tired of hiding. Let’s run away together."
Looking back now, Amanda called herself a fool. She never loved him; she loved who she thought he was. She loved what he made her feel; something beside pain and pity. When she was with him, she truly felt love. Who was she trying to kid? She loved that man with all her heart and soul. She loved him like there was no tomorrow and apparently, that was her first mistake. A few weeks ago the love she thought would never end did just that, suddenly and abruptly. Gabby as she called him, brought her a cellular phone, a counterpart to the one he already owned; only the two of them would have the number. After getting into a horrible argument with her best and only friend Brandy, she needed his comfort. She hated coming over to people’s houses unannounced so she called his phone, expecting him to pick up with a smile in his voice like he always did when she called. The last thing she expected is what she got; the voice of a sultry female gave her a warm greeting as if nothing was wrong. At the time Amanda thought it was so unreal, that nothing like that could have ever happened in a million years, but now, breathing her last breaths she knew it was no mistake. The man she built her hopes, dreams and future plans around was a fake. She should have known it was too good to be true, why else would a man who can get any female he wanted, want her? It must have been a cruel joke. It must have been. There really was no use thinking about it now, it was all in the past. She'd miss the six hour phone conversations, she'd miss the midnight rendezvous, and she’d even miss crashing on the couch after a long day. The last “sane” thought that entered her confused teenage mind was--whether or not she should have left Gabby a note.
Hours later the body of sixteen year old Amanda Whitman was found in her bedroom bathroom. She bled to death from her wrist, it was suicide the cops believed but nothing else was released. The town up in an uproar nothing like this, had ever happened before. The wake of Amanda Whitman seemed to be the town social of the decade. Everyone was there; even people they never expected would show up. The funeral parlor was a round, almost domed shaped white building. There was only one entrance and only one exit which often made the place a fire hazard. The grieving family of now two basked in the condolences of those around them. Although it was a tragic event, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. This wasn’t how it was suppose to be--or was it. The shadow of a slim girl dressed in all black darkened the door way. No one seemed too noticed. Her long black hair was stringy and looked like it needed to be washed. The girl herself looked as if she would have rather been anywhere but there. No one seemed to notice her and that was just how she liked it. She moved closer towards the center, closer to the crowd. She noticed Amanda's parents cuddled in a corner. God, how she hated them. The idea of slitting their throats brought great pleasure to her face, but she wouldn’t do that to Amanda, she wouldn’t murder her best friend’s parents. Mrs. Whitman made the mistake of turning her head at the same instant Brandy made it fully inside the circular room. She flew up from her chair in a rage. She walked towards Brandy heedless of her husband’s pleas. "You!!! You little witch! You're the reason my baby is dead; you're voodoo, witch craft, mambo jumbo. You killed my baby! You’ll pay for this!!" By the time the screaming woman was subdued, the damage was already done. Brandy hadn't wished to make a scene, she didn’t even want to be there, but she knew there had to be at least one person who loved Amanda truly grieving. The bone chilling laughter that erupted from Brandy stopped the tears on Mrs. Whitman’s face in their tracks. "You don’t know anything you tart! You don’t know anything! Don't you dare blame me for something that was right in front of your eyes!! You want to blame someone?!" Brandy throws the cherished picture of her best friend at the woman standing in front of her. Amanda had the biggest smile you ever could see plastered on her face and with his arms wrapped around her, Gabriele De Luca looked like a man without a care in the world "Blame him!"
I cant WAIT to finish this but...im kinda at a loss. The story was based on real life events(expect the whole her killing herself bit)its gonna be a crappy ending since Amanda died. I regret killing her off now..pfft, i guess ill see what happens
